Is Your Child Already Anxious About Going Back to School?
It's the middle of summer and school supplies aren't even on the shelves yet, but your child is already asking, "how many days until school starts?" with dread in their voice.
Maybe they've had a rough school year, maybe they struggle socially, or maybe they just can't stop worrying about what the new school year will bring.
Back-to-school anxiety is more common than you think, and starting to address it now gives your child a real head start.
Why Do Some Kids Dread Going Back to School?
Anxiety is future-focused by nature about what could happen, including the upcoming school year with a new teacher, new classroom, or new grade level.
For kids who had a genuinely hard year, whether that meant social struggles, academic pressure, or a teacher who wasn't a good fit, those worries can carry into the new school year.
We often see three drivers behind early school anxiety in the San Diego families we work with:
Social anxiety, where a child worries about fitting in or being judged by peers;
Separation anxiety, where the worry is really about being away from a parent;
And academic pressure, where a child is dreading the workload or fears falling behind again.
It also helps to know that avoidance over the summer, like refusing to talk about school at all, tends to make anxiety worse by fall rather than better, since the brain never gets a chance to practice tolerating the worry in small doses.
Signs Your Child's Back-to-School Worry Has Gone Beyond Normal
A little nervousness at the start of a school year is common and to be expected. But when school anxiety shows up intensely, it's worth paying closer attention.
Watch for frequent, unprompted mentions of school that come with real fear or dread rather than passing comments.
Physical complaints like stomachaches or headaches that appear whenever school comes up are another common sign, along with regression behaviors such as new clinginess or disrupted sleep that weren't there earlier in the summer.
Some kids go the opposite direction and shut down completely, refusing to talk about school at all or changing the subject the moment it comes up.
And for many anxious kids, the worry doesn't stay contained. It bleeds into summer itself, making it hard for a child to relax or enjoy the time off because part of their mind is already back in the classroom.
How to Help Your Anxious Child Go Back to School
Don’t Avoid Talking About School
It’s normal for parents to avoid talking about things that make their kids worried, including school. However, avoiding talking about school may decrease your child’s anxiety in the short-term, but it actually makes it worse over the long run.
Focus on bringing up school when it is natural, but don’t worry about making it a part of regular conversation if that doesn’t make sense.
Continue to Practice Separations
This is especially important for children who struggle with school drop offs and anxiety about being away from their parents.
Summer tends to have less separations built into it, so it’s important to think of ways that you can include separations so your child is used to it when they go back to school.
If your child is in a summer camp, that’s a natural separation point. But if they aren’t, it could be they stay with a grandparent when you go to the grocery store, or that you drop them off at an extracurricular activity instead of staying and watching them.
Establish Routines & Structure
As you get closer to the school year, it’s worth re-establishing routines like bedtime and morning routines.
If your child struggles with schoolwork, having them do math problems prior to enjoyable activities or screentime can also help with the rhythm of school.
When to Seek Professional Support for School Anxiety
Most early school worries respond well to the steps above. But if your child's anxiety is intense, constant, or already disrupting sleep, eating, or their ability to enjoy summer, it may be time to bring in outside support rather than wait to see if it improves on its own.
Anxiety therapy for kids and teens over the summer can give your child real coping tools before the school year begins, rather than trying to build those skills for the first time during an already stressful September.
A child psychologist can offer something that's genuinely hard to provide as a parent: a neutral, trained perspective, along with structured tools like exposure practice and cognitive strategies that are difficult to implement effectively at home, especially when you're also the person your child is anxious about being separated from.
And if school struggles last year were about more than anxiety, touching on academics or attention as well, a broader evaluation can help clarify what's really going on before the year starts.
Child Therapy for Anxiety
No parent wants to see their child held back by fear or constant worry. At SoCal Child Psychology in La Jolla, we offer child therapy for anxiety that helps kids across San Diego feel safer, calmer, and more confident.
Through play-based strategies and proven therapies, we teach children practical coping skills they can use at school, at home, and with friends. Parents are also included in the process, so you’ll have tools to support your child along the way.
Contact us today to learn more about anxiety therapy for children in San Diego and how it can bring peace back to your family.